Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
