their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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