so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
