We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
