My brain says no but my pants say off.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize