She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
