my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
