just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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