it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
zippers are such a cool invention
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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