PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
