Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
im holly from the hills drunk
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
