Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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