Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
wrigley field is MILF paradise
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
