Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize