So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
