she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
