Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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