Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
