Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize