All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
