It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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