your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
