There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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