just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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