he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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