took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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