i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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