I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
