I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
