Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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