No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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