FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
