I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize