I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
