erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
