God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
