Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
