And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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