I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
