I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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