Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
