The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
We had to coat check the pizza.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
