I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize