it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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