Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
