she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She even gives head with a lisp.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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