i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I could make wine with my vomit
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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