hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Girls should come with a carfax report
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize