guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
