wakey wakey hands off snakey
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
You smell like stripper and shame
4 words: hood of his car
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
