just come out here and I will go home with you...
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
it's great music for shaving your balls
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Randomize
