me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize