Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
