I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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