Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
