theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
