I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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