Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
