You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
