I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
