Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I forget how to act sober
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