Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
