There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
