Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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