Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize