smell my finger.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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