Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
