just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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