babies were throwing up all over the place
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
How's work?
Spinning.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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