I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
