What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
