My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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