Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
