its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
