so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
this is an emotional support booty call
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
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