How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
