You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
The ass gains better be worth it
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