Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
