dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
