I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
