you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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