My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
