Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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